So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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