so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
