things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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