I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
