I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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