Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
