dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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