I think i sorta joined a cult last night
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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