My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
