You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize