I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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