This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
