it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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