lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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