Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
