i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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