Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
