Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
