Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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