The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
