Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
