I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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