Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
my being single is dangerous.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
