if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize