Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize