My room smells like vodka and shame
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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