Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
