I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
