So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
