How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
