I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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