Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
