I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
