i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I have post one night stand depression
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
