I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
