C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
