i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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