i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
this just has baby written all over it
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
