i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
