oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
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