its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
