I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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