New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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