I seem to have left my pride at pride
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
