Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Randomize
