I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize