she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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