Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
so let's talk penis.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
