i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
