just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
