just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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