Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I queefed so loud it echoed.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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