Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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