so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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