you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
