My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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