I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize