Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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