I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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