Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
