I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I supernannyed him into submission
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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