I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
