How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
