So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
