This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
